Hailing from the East and settled in the West; I see vast differences in the way sex is treated as a subject in both parts of the world. Growing up, it was slowly but firmly ingrained in me that pre-marital sex is a taboo.
The advantage to this approach is manifold. The rates of teen pregnancy are low. Children have a sense of knowing right from wrong since an early age albeit out of fear of parents or social stigma. As a result of non-indulgence, the child’s focus is not lost and they have more time to focus on academics or other co-curricular activities. The issue with it being such a taboo though, is that most girls view it as an undertaking of sorts and it can take them quite some time after marriage to have that kind of vulnerability with their partners.
In the West, it is much easier to fall trap to sex at an earlier age; call it the influence of media; innocent /fragile minds, not as much harping by parents, freedom of choice for kids or the openness of the society. It is not a very uncommon scenario to come across teen pregnancies. Besides the health issues like HIV, STD, etc; these young boys and girls are more vulnerable to abuse and mistreatment at the hands of a partner. As a result, their minds get scarred and eventually most end up having relationship or emotional issues.
So how to find the balance? Per Ayurveda, it goes back to knowing and adhering to the guidelines set forth by this ancient timeless system of medicine. Sex is a natural phenomenon which is essential for a healthy thriving relationship. But there are some do's and don’ts for sex as well. And it for sure is important to have control over sexual desires.
Why have control over sexual desires at all?
Per Ayurveda, Shukra Dhatu (generative tissue) is present all over the body. When present in the sex organs, it gives rise to sperm and ovum & when present in the other organs, it is responsible for the regeneration of the same tissue or organ. Formation of the sperm and ovum which have the ability to perpetuate human life is the most evolved function of the generative tissue.
The shukra dhatu is discharged during intercourse and the function of this tissue is to provide one with stability, strength, courage, love & happiness. Hence the excessive loss of shukra results in loss of these.
During intercourse, not only shukra but ojas is also lost. Ojas is the finest essence of all tissues and is responsible for providing an individual with immunity, energy, luster & strength. Ojas is as important for the human body as "prana" is for life!
Excessive intercourse results in the loss of reproductive fluid & ojas. Ever notice, you feel a lack of energy & strength after an intercourse? Now you know why! Therefore restrained sexual activity is the key to physical & mental health!
Some Guidelines Governing Sex
Per Ayurveda, sex should be performed taking into consideration the season, age and constitution of both partners.
Winter is the time for strength; our bodies are endowed with energy; the weather outside is cold and in order to turn up the heat we end up eating more and sex can be enjoyed frequently or as per one’s desires.
During summer, our body is the weakest, the heat is the external environment increases the heat within; we lose body fluids through sweating and dehydration. Thus, additional loss of fluids makes the body even more fragile so the suggested frequency for sex is every 15 days.
During spring and autumn, our energy levels are somewhere between the levels of winter & summer. Thus, sex is recommended every 4 days.
Other important factors to consider besides season:
No sex during pregnancy. Yes, you heard that right!
Sex is contraindicated in children below 16 and adults over 70 years of age.
Both partners must have the desire to perform sex and both must be in good physical and mental health. Ladies, no sex during menstruation!
Both partners should preferably take a cool water bath after the act & drink cool water or milk to replenish the lost shukra/ reproductive tissue. Those who avoid or are allergic to milk; can have sweet fresh fruit juice or food containing natural sugars after intercourse.
Per Ayurveda, those who do not regulate their sexual impulses & indulge in excessive sex are more prone to loss of strength, weak immune function & various diseases owing to depletion of vitality. Specifically some of these diseases include:
Delay in ejaculation
Ejaculation accompanied with bleeding
Severe pain in the testicles
Feeling of hot fumes coming out of urethra
But those who do regulate their sexual desires and indulge in it in a controlled way have increased memory, power, intelligence, health & longevity.
Hope this clears some of the myths and confusion about one of the most covert yet coveted subjects.
And remember when you do engage in sexual activity; be vulnerable; give it your all; it’s not something you have to do to please your partner or to be manipulative. It’s a sacred act which must be done with utmost passion, willingness & love and the key to that lies in vulnerability to your partner!
May the wisdom of the Vedas shine upon your soul
Ayurvedic Wellness Consultant
Health & Fitness Blogger
Founder of Vedic Sanctuary : Health & Wellness